I Do Have Other Children

As special as Belle is I do have 2 boys. Jamison is 5 and Easton is 4 1/2 months. Belle's illness does not just effect her but the boys as well...More so Jamison right now than Easton. He's such a trooper but I can tell he's getting super annoyed at his sister's new diet. He's also uber protective of her. If mommy and daddy are not around he will take charge and make sure she does not eat was she isn't allowed to. But with this new diet all the "fun" things we used to have in the house are gone and no more pancake saturday mornings because we don't want Izabelle to feel left out. No more trips to the ice cream store (they had sorbet for belle) because Belle would be excluded. He keeps asking if we can leave her at home so he can get what he wants. I try to sneak him treats when I can and still give him what he likes but with the tantrums we're already experiencing with belle we try to avoid them when we can. So Jamison is having to deal with not getting in his opinion enough attention. Baby Easton is usually attached to mommy and if easton isn't Belle is usually having a meltdown. Daddy's been working super hard lately so he's not around to absorb the attention needed by Jamison...The poor kid is getting the butt end of the stick right now. I wish I could divide myself so I could make jamison feel like the special boy that he is. I"m praying that we quickley get over this first hump with belle so that we can figure out how to integrate Jamison into the whole scenario. He's my lil man. He takes charge of the kids when he feels he needs to. He's a huge helper to mommy and daddy and he's got the sweetest heart that I hope is never lost. Jamison is a truly special little boy!

High Fructose Corn Syrup I Loath You

So today I went to the grocery store in search of more foods for Belle....I left defeated. The first place I stopped was the diebetic isle...They are sure to have something fun for Belle...Not so much. It either had sorbitol or splenda. Neither of which Belle is able to process. So after defeat in that section I went to go find her some bread that she can have with dinner tonight since we're having speghetti and we make our own garlic bread. After all the types of flour in the ingredients the next one listed is high fructose corn syrup....Are you kidding me. What is the need for this in the BREAD....It's just bread. It doesn't need to be sweetend...Yes as American's we have been brought up on sugar and not surprisingly the food companies have picked up on that small fact. Everything must be sweet in order for us to eat it....This is just getting ridiculous. I can't go to the fresh fruit/veggie aile and get her good stuff there and I can't find junk w/o some sort of sugar. I'm going completely mad and feel like a horrible mother. Lately Belle's diet has consited of diet lemonaid, crackers, tasetless hot dogs and whatever we can manipulate for dinner. She's always saying she is hungry and I feel like a horrible mother. I feel like I'm starving my child. I know I'm not and I know I'm doing my best to provide for her but when she still is omplaining of a tummy ache and just wants to have normal food all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I understand she is frustrated. I understand she just wants to yell at me because she wants something with flavor. But I just can't give it to her. This diet goes against everything most parents try to get their kids to eat. For the past year Derrick and Ihave been encouraging our kids to make smart choices. Choose carrots and raisins over gummies and cookies. Heck some mornings belle didn't want "breakfast food" she would just walk around with a bag of carrots. I was proud that my kids were making smart choices. And then I have to turn around and tell belle that basically all those "good" foods are making you sick. They hurt your tummy and make you have to use the bathroom. She keeps telling me that if she says she's better does that mean she can eat the good food and unfortunately for now I have to tell her no. Everything I look at...Healthy or unhealthy has high fructose corn syrup in it...If we're trying to now become a healthier nation why not pick up on that trend and take the stupid stuff out. It serves no real purpose. I just wish it wasn't defeating me.

We've Got Amazing Friends....

So this has been a trying week for Izabelle. She's had to listen to us say NO way more times than I can count. She's had multiple meltdowns due to being frustrated with mommy and daddy. She's doing as best as she can for a 3 year old. I still get cuddles and kisses and she's starting to understand that sugar hurts her tummy. She'll even tell you she can't have sugar now. Her diet has gone from restricted to impossible. At least she loves what we do give her. She's living on hot dogs, cracker, cherrios and sugar free lemonaide. But yesterday she got an amazing present. One of our friends dropped of a gift for Belle. When we went to open it we found that inside the bag was an air popper for popcorn and a fun bucket and gourmet popcorn. Immediately belle wanted to make her own popcorn and watch a movie. How could a mommy say no to that. We brought up her stool and she helped me pour in the kernals. We watched the popcorn pop and she even shared it with Jamison. It's such a simple present but it totally made her day. She got to enjoy a treat w/o having to worry about feeling sick. Today I'll be popping some popcorn as our treat for the park. All will enjoy and she won't feel left out.

Thank God For Insurance

Today we received Belle's enzymes in the mail. Included was the invoice. Sticker shock is an understatment. For just a months supply it cost 5661.89....I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. After the shock I thanked God that I actually have insurance. I'm thankful that Derrick has a steady job and a steady paycheck. And yes we have to sacrafice having him around for months at a time but if that is the sacrafice that is needed to keep Belle happy then we'll do it. The kids may not understand the whys to why daddy has to go away but to able to keep all our children cared for it's a small price to pay.

Today was yet another day of tantrums and meltdowns. All Izabelle wanted was some tomatoes and her "special" milk. I had to keep saying no. Even offering alternatives didn't work today. I'm so worn out from all the "fighting". It breaks my heart that I can't give her what she wants. All these healthy things that we have been encouraging for her to eat over the past few years are now in a way poision. I'm praying that the addition of this enzyme will help ease the problem. I pray that she can enjoy some of what she used to. Eating out it no longer an option. At least not right now. Which is probably better for our wallets anyway. Taking her to birthday parties and events just got 10 times more challanging. I want Belle to be "normal" but now i know that will not be the case for her.I just pray God provides the guidence derrick and I will need through these beginning phases so that we can give belle the best possible childhood and start to life.

A Challenging Day

So today is our first day of no sugar for belle. It was a day full of tantrums and tears. The frist melt down happened when I could only give belle 1/2 a box of her milk (per doc bc there is still some sugar). She wanted the whole box and no sippy cup, thus when told "no" her tantrum ensued. When that foot stomping was done she asked for a banana. I tried to offer an alternative but alas I was met by the tears and screaming again. After dropping daddy off at work mommy needed coffee. When I asked belle if she would like a water she was adament with saying no so I did not get her one. When we drove away from Starbucks she started screaming for water. More tears and screaming. By mid morning it was time for our playdate...Wonderful I thought. She'll be with other kids and it'll keep her mind off of the new "diet". It worked for a while but then it was lunch time and I foudn hotdogs (her fav) w/o sugar. But it wasn't good enough. She wanted popcorn (flavored like the other kids) and pretzels. Again told no and yet another tantrum. But my wonderful friend who was hosting the playdate got out her airpopper and made belle some fresh popcorn. This made belle happy and content for the time. And before we left I had to say no again to watermellon.

It's been a rough day. I feel like a failing mother because I can't give my child what she wants or needs. No has been the word of the day and I feel horrible. I want my child to have what she wants. I want her to eat fruits and veggies. I want her to feel included with her friends. I know we'll get the hang of this diet. I know we'll overcome it. And I know in the future she will be able to handle small amounts of sugar. But at the starting line it always feels like it's going to be an uphill battle. So today I ask God for patience, understanding, and peace.

An Overwhelming Morning...

So this morning we had Belle's nutrition appointment. We were explained her deficency and given a list of what she can eat...It all fits on 1 page...For the first 2-3 weeks we have to do complete elimination of glucose and fructose aund sucrose. So tomorrow we are starting her diet so that derrick and I can go through what we have in our cupboards and figure out what she can have and then go to the store for other needed items. So basically the run down of this disorder is that there are 2 molocules in sucrose and when it reaches the intestines the enzyme breaks it into 2 seperate molocules and sends it to the parts of the body that needs the energy. Well in Belles case the molocule never splits and then the body gets confused as to what it is and eliminates it....It causes her tummy to hurt and have tummy troubles. So the game plan for now is to completely elminate sugar from her diet. It's to help her body heal and to give us a fresh baseline. When the baseline is reached (about 2-3 weeks) we'll start to slowly introduce sugar back in. We'll first try something like a few grapes and watch how her body responds. She will have to take a replacement enzyme to help with the digestion. She will always have a limit though to how much she can handle...The oral replacement is by no means a cure. She has a 50/50 shot of growing out of it. But no one sounds to hopeful about that :-( On a good note though we may be able to reintroduce milk/soy. it is a possiblity that this deficency was masked by the milk and soy. So we will challenge her sometime later this year if we can get her enzymes under control.

So please continue to pray for guidence from the doctors. And that the feeling of being overwhelmed that I am feeling will be calmed. Please pray that belle does out grow this. Please pray that those around us will understand and help us through this journey.

Memorial Day Weekend

This weekend was fun filled for the Furr Family. Friday was errand day for us and we actually got our grocery shopping done. Thank God for the Eagles Nest because then Derrick and I can have a meal before shopping and then tackle the list. My kids love being in the Eagles Nest so they feel like it's a treat to go. Jamison likes the free time of playing Wii since at home it's only used as a treat and he has to share with belle. Belle loves the crafts so she keeps her hands busy and stays out of trouble.

Satrday was our typical Saturday filled with gymnastics and tball. Saturday's are usually our busiest and by the end of the day it doesn't feel like any rest was accomplished.

Sunday we had an AMAZING day...We took our kids to Idlewild park and Soak Zone for the day. It was a wonderful experience and time for family. Jamison is my cautious non risk taker. So getting him on rides was like pulling teeth. He refused the rollar coaster and other rides. So derrick put his foot down and told him he had to ride something if he wanted to play a game at the end of the night. He surprised everyone and picked the Spider... This ride makes me sick just watching it. It was Derrick's turn to ride and by the end he felt like he wanted to hurl. Jamison said it was scary and never wanted to ride again. When he did play his game he picked the baseball throw and surprisingly he won. Neither derrick or I thought he would throw hard enough but of course he proved his parents wrong and knocked down the silly cats. I must have a pitcher on my hands. Izabelle on the other hand wanted more. She is our little dare devil. If it's fast and spins she's all about it. I know as soon as she can she'll be up on a 10 meter jumping off like I did as a kid. Easton got his first taste of pool water and he was not a happy baby at the temperature..But he enjoyed the day outside and was so tuckered out he actually slept the whole night (8-6) this made for some VERY happy parents.

Today (Memorial Day) was spent having fun and remembering those who have served. Jamison walked in his first parade and had a blast. I was so proud of my little boy. Derrick participated in a local memorial service and honored those that served before him. It was a touching service and it made me stop and think about those who have lost our lives fighting for freedom. Those men and women gave the ultimate price. Their blank check was cashed in by this country. The least we can do is honor them and remember. They are never forgotten. Thank you to all my friends and friends husbands who serve. We all have our roles in this military life and each one is just as important.