Our First Adventure In Dining Out

Since finding out Belle had any sort of allergey dinning out has always been an adventure. Usually we have to send the server back and forth between us and the kitchen checking for ingredients. For the most part the servers have been very helpful. Heck even some managers double check for us to make sure all is prepared safely for Belle. Well with the new revolation of Belle's inablity to digest sugars going out to dinner seemed like an even bigger task than before. Well last night we had to run errands once derrick got home and we had to feed everyone. We had a coupon for a free kids meal at applebee's so we decided that would be our destination. We packed Belle a dinner of all her safe food and put it in her princess lunchbox. She thought it was cool to take her own dinner out to eat wth her. I honestly was a little worried that the restaurant would tell us we couldn't bring her food but I was willing to take the risk. I can't keep her holed up in the house the rest of her childhood. We ran all the errands that we had and headed to dinner. She took her lunchbox in and once we sat down she wanted to eat. we had to explain that she needed to wait for the rest of the family. When it was time to order (after a 20 min wait at the table) I ordered for Jamison and I and then derrick ordered his stuff. The waitress asked what about belle and we told her that she has a food allergy that we couldn't expect the restaurant to accomidate so we brought her food. Surprisingly the waitress was ok with it. The rest of dinner went off with a hitch. I think all my worry was for nothing. Restaurants want their patrons to be happy and have a good experience and if that means a child brings in their own food then they are ok with it. Besides the bad service the experience as a whole was good...Looks like we can go out with belle after all.

Are You KIDDING Me

So bc of belle's disability with food the state preschool we've sent J to for the last 2 years is telling us that it may not be a good idea for Izabelle to attend bc they cannot provide food for her. The state guidlines is that no outside food is allowed. And I get that. I really do. A mom last year brought in snikers for the kids and J can't have nuts so I was annoyed. BUT they are discriminating against Belle bc she can't eat the cafeteria food. The doctor even wrote a note saying why Belle cannot eat the food and they told me they still cannot make an exception. She wants to see if we qualify for in home services but she is not to positive bc of our income. She thinks we make too much. I'm BEYOND pissed. Belle just wants to be with other kids. She WANTS to go to school. They even told me they are not full yet so if she didn't have this problem then she would probably get in. I get that they want to keep everyone safe. but when food is like posion to a child I think exceptions need to be made. It's one thing if a child is just refusing to eat the food offered it's another if the child physically can't eat the food given.

I Do Have Other Children

As special as Belle is I do have 2 boys. Jamison is 5 and Easton is 4 1/2 months. Belle's illness does not just effect her but the boys as well...More so Jamison right now than Easton. He's such a trooper but I can tell he's getting super annoyed at his sister's new diet. He's also uber protective of her. If mommy and daddy are not around he will take charge and make sure she does not eat was she isn't allowed to. But with this new diet all the "fun" things we used to have in the house are gone and no more pancake saturday mornings because we don't want Izabelle to feel left out. No more trips to the ice cream store (they had sorbet for belle) because Belle would be excluded. He keeps asking if we can leave her at home so he can get what he wants. I try to sneak him treats when I can and still give him what he likes but with the tantrums we're already experiencing with belle we try to avoid them when we can. So Jamison is having to deal with not getting in his opinion enough attention. Baby Easton is usually attached to mommy and if easton isn't Belle is usually having a meltdown. Daddy's been working super hard lately so he's not around to absorb the attention needed by Jamison...The poor kid is getting the butt end of the stick right now. I wish I could divide myself so I could make jamison feel like the special boy that he is. I"m praying that we quickley get over this first hump with belle so that we can figure out how to integrate Jamison into the whole scenario. He's my lil man. He takes charge of the kids when he feels he needs to. He's a huge helper to mommy and daddy and he's got the sweetest heart that I hope is never lost. Jamison is a truly special little boy!

High Fructose Corn Syrup I Loath You

So today I went to the grocery store in search of more foods for Belle....I left defeated. The first place I stopped was the diebetic isle...They are sure to have something fun for Belle...Not so much. It either had sorbitol or splenda. Neither of which Belle is able to process. So after defeat in that section I went to go find her some bread that she can have with dinner tonight since we're having speghetti and we make our own garlic bread. After all the types of flour in the ingredients the next one listed is high fructose corn syrup....Are you kidding me. What is the need for this in the BREAD....It's just bread. It doesn't need to be sweetend...Yes as American's we have been brought up on sugar and not surprisingly the food companies have picked up on that small fact. Everything must be sweet in order for us to eat it....This is just getting ridiculous. I can't go to the fresh fruit/veggie aile and get her good stuff there and I can't find junk w/o some sort of sugar. I'm going completely mad and feel like a horrible mother. Lately Belle's diet has consited of diet lemonaid, crackers, tasetless hot dogs and whatever we can manipulate for dinner. She's always saying she is hungry and I feel like a horrible mother. I feel like I'm starving my child. I know I'm not and I know I'm doing my best to provide for her but when she still is omplaining of a tummy ache and just wants to have normal food all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. I understand she is frustrated. I understand she just wants to yell at me because she wants something with flavor. But I just can't give it to her. This diet goes against everything most parents try to get their kids to eat. For the past year Derrick and Ihave been encouraging our kids to make smart choices. Choose carrots and raisins over gummies and cookies. Heck some mornings belle didn't want "breakfast food" she would just walk around with a bag of carrots. I was proud that my kids were making smart choices. And then I have to turn around and tell belle that basically all those "good" foods are making you sick. They hurt your tummy and make you have to use the bathroom. She keeps telling me that if she says she's better does that mean she can eat the good food and unfortunately for now I have to tell her no. Everything I look at...Healthy or unhealthy has high fructose corn syrup in it...If we're trying to now become a healthier nation why not pick up on that trend and take the stupid stuff out. It serves no real purpose. I just wish it wasn't defeating me.

We've Got Amazing Friends....

So this has been a trying week for Izabelle. She's had to listen to us say NO way more times than I can count. She's had multiple meltdowns due to being frustrated with mommy and daddy. She's doing as best as she can for a 3 year old. I still get cuddles and kisses and she's starting to understand that sugar hurts her tummy. She'll even tell you she can't have sugar now. Her diet has gone from restricted to impossible. At least she loves what we do give her. She's living on hot dogs, cracker, cherrios and sugar free lemonaide. But yesterday she got an amazing present. One of our friends dropped of a gift for Belle. When we went to open it we found that inside the bag was an air popper for popcorn and a fun bucket and gourmet popcorn. Immediately belle wanted to make her own popcorn and watch a movie. How could a mommy say no to that. We brought up her stool and she helped me pour in the kernals. We watched the popcorn pop and she even shared it with Jamison. It's such a simple present but it totally made her day. She got to enjoy a treat w/o having to worry about feeling sick. Today I'll be popping some popcorn as our treat for the park. All will enjoy and she won't feel left out.

Thank God For Insurance

Today we received Belle's enzymes in the mail. Included was the invoice. Sticker shock is an understatment. For just a months supply it cost 5661.89....I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. After the shock I thanked God that I actually have insurance. I'm thankful that Derrick has a steady job and a steady paycheck. And yes we have to sacrafice having him around for months at a time but if that is the sacrafice that is needed to keep Belle happy then we'll do it. The kids may not understand the whys to why daddy has to go away but to able to keep all our children cared for it's a small price to pay.

Today was yet another day of tantrums and meltdowns. All Izabelle wanted was some tomatoes and her "special" milk. I had to keep saying no. Even offering alternatives didn't work today. I'm so worn out from all the "fighting". It breaks my heart that I can't give her what she wants. All these healthy things that we have been encouraging for her to eat over the past few years are now in a way poision. I'm praying that the addition of this enzyme will help ease the problem. I pray that she can enjoy some of what she used to. Eating out it no longer an option. At least not right now. Which is probably better for our wallets anyway. Taking her to birthday parties and events just got 10 times more challanging. I want Belle to be "normal" but now i know that will not be the case for her.I just pray God provides the guidence derrick and I will need through these beginning phases so that we can give belle the best possible childhood and start to life.

A Challenging Day

So today is our first day of no sugar for belle. It was a day full of tantrums and tears. The frist melt down happened when I could only give belle 1/2 a box of her milk (per doc bc there is still some sugar). She wanted the whole box and no sippy cup, thus when told "no" her tantrum ensued. When that foot stomping was done she asked for a banana. I tried to offer an alternative but alas I was met by the tears and screaming again. After dropping daddy off at work mommy needed coffee. When I asked belle if she would like a water she was adament with saying no so I did not get her one. When we drove away from Starbucks she started screaming for water. More tears and screaming. By mid morning it was time for our playdate...Wonderful I thought. She'll be with other kids and it'll keep her mind off of the new "diet". It worked for a while but then it was lunch time and I foudn hotdogs (her fav) w/o sugar. But it wasn't good enough. She wanted popcorn (flavored like the other kids) and pretzels. Again told no and yet another tantrum. But my wonderful friend who was hosting the playdate got out her airpopper and made belle some fresh popcorn. This made belle happy and content for the time. And before we left I had to say no again to watermellon.

It's been a rough day. I feel like a failing mother because I can't give my child what she wants or needs. No has been the word of the day and I feel horrible. I want my child to have what she wants. I want her to eat fruits and veggies. I want her to feel included with her friends. I know we'll get the hang of this diet. I know we'll overcome it. And I know in the future she will be able to handle small amounts of sugar. But at the starting line it always feels like it's going to be an uphill battle. So today I ask God for patience, understanding, and peace.